How to chase it away?

[roseline371274]

There are two main methods. The first involves setting up a fake tribal tattoo shop near the surfers' hangout. The animal, once it smells the smell of bad ink and infected piercings, can't resist this call and will come to you on its own. All you have to do is use your weapon, or if you're more athletic, beat it up with its own board. The other method requires a bit more resources, but also brings more panache: rent a Canadair and a certain number of hectoliters of lamb's blood and pour it all over the area where the surfers are frolicking. As artistic as it is amusing, you'll delight the vacationers who will never call for help, too busy filming the whole thing or taking selfies with the industry email list bits of limbs washed up by the tide.

What if I catch one?

Absolutely not! You must not make the animal suffer unnecessarily. You are a hunter, not a heartless monster. If you were to keep a surfer in captivity, you would quickly see him waste away. In 1992, a Swiss hunter tried to raise a surfer captured in Biarritz on the shores of Lake Geneva. Despite the proven presence of water, the surfer let himself die and refused to eat peanuts and stupid cocktails, his favorite foods. The veterinarian who certified the animal's death concluded that "  without a shark to bother, the surfer dies ." Conclusion: for surfers to live, we need sharks. And for there to be sharks, we need fewer surfers. Hunters, by hunting the surfer, you are saving not one species but two.

Scrunchie Seller Level 99
The scrunchie seller
"  Scrunchies, who wants some scrunchies? " Just like the sound of cicadas in the coves or horns on the ring road, this typical cry of beach wildlife is well known to holidaymakers. Although he carries around a whole stall of crap for sale, and is therefore visible from two miles around, the scrunchie seller can't help but yell his call, just to signal himself to people who wouldn't have seen him because they had their eyes closed, meaning those who were trying to sleep until this little rascal arrived. The scrunchie seller generally hangs around near families, as he knows that children, these parasites of adults, have eroded the mental and intellectual resistance of their parents, making them more likely to buy three roasted peanuts for €5. It is said that in Mexican cartels, the price of organs is indexed to that of the scrunchie, in order to never exceed this, considered as "  the human limit ". Fellow hunters, you can find in stores a quantity of calls that imitate the cry of the scrunchie seller and thus attract him. Be careful though, if you have children, the deal could turn ugly. Be careful!